Its true, no more holding back. I won’t leave anything out because i also realized that i really want to keep you around and you make me really happy. So i know i never will have to worry whether or not you make me happy. I know you do and sometimes things are hard and yes this can be difficult but you make me smile and happy and i want to do so many things with you i cant even list them all. Frankly everyone else that has a problem with us, excuse my language but i dont fucking care. I was never looking for their approval i only ever cared about exactly what you thought of me and right now i am thinking of the best ways to make my first impression all over again. Since you were 16 years old i knew you and i dont want anyone else, ive been through enough relationships and been lead on enough and all that bullshit to realize that i really do love you and you have been the only girl i have ever said that to and you will remain the only girl i will ever say that too. Because the choice has always been obvious and its you, i’ve made mistakes i admit but i know why we fight, why we are trying so hard. Its because we know we aren’t just willing to throw away almost 3 years together because we know that no one will get each other like we do. I love you and its true, i want to stay together with you and i will keep trying as hard as i can. Until we get that house and that dog and vacation in the bahamas [or greece, or france, or london] You get the point.
I hope you see this
When you are ready to talk i will talk with you, i wont force you into anything. I hope you remember that. Ill be right here
Writing
I’m writing this for a lot of reasons. Lately it seems like things have been hectic because school and work has begun. Trying to juggle time isn’t easy for anybody. Especially for me and my girlfriend, celina. I am the kind of person that will always stay optimistic because that’s how I’ve become and grew up. Certain things that happened have forced me to. Time with her is so important to me I can’t put it into words. This wasn’t triggered or anything honestly. Just needed somewhere to put down my thoughts. I love her and miss her a lot. I mean we are really far away (thank god) but just short of close enough. Sometimes its really hard to constantly go back and forth between work and school. For the both of us. But one thing we have never been short on, is being able to have indestructable willpower for us and our relationship. I think of couples who just call everything quits have the mentality that “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” which is bullshit. How can you say you were never strong enough to do something if you NEVER saw it all the way through? Well I don’t know about the rest of you but I intend to fight all the way through. Hell that’s why I’m going to school and work and studying for my degree. To have a secure future, with her. Its something I dream and think about and actually look forward to. This isn’t just puppy love because we’ve grown up with each other in so many amazing ways. I’m not saying it was easy, nothing is. But it was nonetheless amazing. And I will continue make it amazing because I know she will do the same for me. I really appreciate how much she cares about me and everything she’s done. I want to say thank you celina. And I want to tell you, we can get through anything. I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever even known. I will always love you and it sucks I won’t get to see your reaction when you read this but at least I can hear you tell me with that voice of yours that I think about all the time. Yours truly.
…in weird moods. I’ve been angry, and emotional. I don’t know if it’s my hormones or what but it’s driving me insane. I’ve been crying to Jacob every night for about a week. For some reason death has been on my mind a lot. :/ I hate the idea that I could lose someone I love, permanently and…
I love you too. I really do. I try my best as much as i can and i always will. You are it and you are what makes me. The best thing that ever happened to me, i would have never expected. That was falling in love with you 2 years and 4 months ago.
(Source: the-sgtpepper)
